i will never coherently bang her
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
