Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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