since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
