My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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