i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
