Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
