i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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