If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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