I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
