i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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