were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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