apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He keeps bees of course he's weird
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize