...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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