Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
