I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize