# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
