You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you never un-have a 4some
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
