just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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