He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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