In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
