that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
