I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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