I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize