i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
