She announced her abortion via fbk
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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