I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
