Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
