Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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