Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
im holly from the hills drunk
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I smell like Dick and happiness
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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