k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
