turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
