at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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