note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
