I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
