sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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