just come out here and I will go home with you...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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