he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
