Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's never too late to be topless.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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