Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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