I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I need moral support for this bender
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize