Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
