Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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