kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Your penis caused this!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
