I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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