The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Everclear isn't food dammit
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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