Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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