worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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