I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
