We should be called the Road Head Warriors
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
