Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
