My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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