Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
