If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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