My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
