I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
