If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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