I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
