If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
