Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw a hot homeless man
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
