I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
NoShamevember. You game?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
