Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
