Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
