you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
