i permit you to call me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize