And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
