Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
